Some Warning Signs:

• Is your partner jealous, getting angry or upset if you even talk to other men?
  
• Does he want you to spend all your free time with him; making attempts to keep you away from family and friends especially those who arre particularly close to you?
  
• Does he tell you where you can and can't go, who you can and can't spend time with, what clothes to wear? Does he compare you unfavorably to other women?
  
• Do you know whether he was abusive in other relationships?
  
• How does he talk about other women he has been in relationships with? Does he call them names, blame them for all of the problems in the relationship?
  
• Does he contact you several times a day to check in with you, keeping tabs on your whereabouts?
  
• How does he react to stress or frustration? How does he react when he gets angry? Does he blame you or others even when it seems obvious that the mistake or problem is his?
  
• Does he make a lot of jokes about women or put women down a lot?
  
• Does he get angry over little things such as being a few minutes late and then does he accuse you of being with another man?
  
• Does he talk a lot about being tough or macho?
  
• Does he respect your opinions and your preferences or is he always right and does he make all the decisions? Does he try to change your mind to his way of thinking?
  
• Will he talk about a disagreement and try to work it out or does he get angry, insist he is right and refuse to negotiate?
  
• Has he ever threatened you in any way?
  
• Have you ever felt afraid of him, even for a little while?
  

Some of these are forms of abuse in themselves and can lead to persistent patterns of violence. If you have concerns, you should explore them further. Set limits and boundaries. If they are not respected, you may need to step back and look at the situation before proceeding with the relationship.

Produced by Libra House, Shelter for Abused Women and their Children.